He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
