Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
