I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
