JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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