Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
