I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
