Say something about gay babies.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
