Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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