Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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