i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I need moral support for this bender
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
