wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
