my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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