with your own penis?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
and you fell through a lawn chair
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
