Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
