you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
