I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
