see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
