I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
