Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
