Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
