talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
