You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
