Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
