Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
