you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
