Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
