I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize