why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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