i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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