If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize