Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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