just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
