Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
