Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
