a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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