Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
