In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
