I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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