love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
