There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
