thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize