i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize