Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
