I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
