dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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