It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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