Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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