I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
