so let's talk penis.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
We smell like vodka and hangover
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
