Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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