She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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