either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So many bounce houses so little time
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
