Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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