just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
