jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
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